Countdown - 9 days to meds

9 days until I have to start injecting myself with meds and honestly, I am scared to death.

I am not sure what to do or how to do it, what if I do it wrong? AHHH! Great more stress to a stressful situation and I have no idea how to calm myself down.

We are going to orientation on the 7th (next Thursday) and they are supposed to go through everything - all the meds, how to inject, when to inject, etc. We are both very nervous about it all because it's so unknown, this is intense. Aaron is worried about giving me the injections when he has to, I am just worried that I am going to do wrong and screw it all up.

What I am hoping is that there are some people who are at the orientation who live around us that we can talk to about what's going on through the process. Our friends are great and supportive as much as they can be, but they do not know EXACTLY how we feel with this stuff. We don't know many people who have gone through IVF that are here for us to talk to when we need to and it will be great to be with people who are at the same point as us. I wouldn't trade my friends support for anything, but it's different with people who are going or have gone through the exact same thing.

The specialist's nurse called me today to tell me she was mailing out my calendar for IVF with the times and dates of things we have set up right now on it. She said it also has the dosages for the suppression meds to begin with until my first appointment with blood work and ultrasounds.

Wow this is really happening and we are getting close to starting now. Everyday that moves closer to the date, the more nervous I get and the more I want to talk about it all to talk out emotions. I also want to curl into a ball on my bedroom floor and cry a little everyday.

Talk about conflicting emotions.