My mom

My mom was my hero.

She was strong and stubborn, opinionated and smart, sweet and caring, loving and encouraging....most of all, she was my mom.

When my mom was pregnant with me she was stuck on hospital bed rest because of serious complications. She spent months in a hospital bed just to keep me safe.

At just a few months old, I contracted bacterial meningitis. This put me in the NICU for a very long time and I nearly died several times. My mom refused to leave my side unless family members forced her to go rest.

She worked multiple jobs to pay the bills with lots of support from my grandmother and uncles. She was a single mother of 4 but she didn't stop making herself better. She went to nursing school, paramedic school, as well as earning her Associate's degree all with children running around.

I am not sure any parent was louder at soccer or basketball games, swim meets, etc with her whistle between her teeth. No parent screamed louder and she would refuse to sit down when other parents wanted her to be quiet - there was no stopping her.

No one was prouder when I was selected out of hundreds of students in the county to travel to Australia when I was just 14. Or when I was inducted into National Honor Society in high school. She screamed for me at my undergraduate graduation, applauded/screamed at my induction into Phi Kappa Phi, and whistled at my Master's graduation.

She was one of my biggest cheerleaders always.

We would spend hours shopping or chatting, watching the same 4 movies time and again because we knew all the words.

Cutting each other as we talked because we just had to share a thought before it was gone.

Cuddling on her bed, wrapped her big comforter just talking for hours and giggling like fools.

We would argue at the other's "damn Irish stubbornness and temper."

She called me her "beautiful blue-eyed girl." Her "miracle baby." Her "teeny bean."

She was so excited when I started teaching, telling me to do what I loved because I loved it not to get rich. We shared a love of history and reading - she always encouraged me to read and travel.

I was blessed to spend 2 weeks in China with her. We toured and traveled. Tried gross food and drank warm soda but cold beer! We climbed the Great Wall together with her calling me every dirty name she could think of because it was so hot and hard to do. We cruised the Yellow River and explored the Forbidden City. We rode a train across China in a "luxury train car" that I could touch both walls a the same time. Learned that "tse tse" meant thank you and blond haired women were a sight to be seen by the Chinese. We climbed mountains and ate until we burst. We walked miles a day and laughed at our traveling companions.

When Aaron was going to propose, he had my mom take me out to try on rings for style preference. She loved how he said he would have final say because he knew me so well. She is the one who found my engagement and wedding set at the last of 7 stores we went to that day. She sent me away, wrote down the information, then gave it to Aaron. She told him it was perfect.

My mom loved Aaron - she said she knew I would always be loved in the way I deserved to be by him and that was a mother's joy.

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I miss her all ready -

I cannot just pick up the phone to talk to her.

I cannot just hug her one more time - the hugs that only a mother can give that make everything feel okay for just those few moments.

I cannot laugh with her or cry with her.

She won't be leaving me a million comments because she loved hearing about all my friends and antics.

Most painfully, she won't meet my children. They will know her only through pictures and stories. They will know she loved them even without knowing them, she is now their guardian angel always.

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I have to learn to live in this new world without her.

Tse tse mom for everything, I hope you knew how much I love you and will miss you.

I hope I made you proud because I was proud to be your daughter.