Sunday, March 25, 2012

5 years later

The very strange anniversary this weekend is that 5 years ago I told my ex-husband I was leaving him because I knew I deserved better after living the way we were for so long.

We were together for 6 years, married for 3 years and living together for 4 years of our relationship. Things didn't always seem to be bad, in fact we were quite happy for about 5 years of the relationship before things really started to fall apart. We started growing apart and the stresses of the infertility and being a one income family really pulled us apart. Take all of that with that you become a different person when you are 26 than when you are 20.

I think back to the time when I was making the choice to leave or not, I struggled with it for a long time before I decided to talk to him. I was not sure when I told him how rough the whole process was going to be on me through it all. It's amazing to think about all I went through to get through it all. It was the most difficult conversation I have had with someone probably ever in my life. I wish I could say that it was the last conversation we had together that was hard and uncomfortable but it wasn't.

It's strange how fast the time has gone.


  1. I hear ya, sister! The first 5 years were happy for me too. Then marriage, and 2 years of infertility exposed the cracks and weaknesses I was all too comfortably sweeping under the rug. I don't blame our infertility, and in a way, I'm grateful to have gone through the experience with someone like my ex, who opened my eyes, led me to a new life, and gave me a really valued gift---a way out. :) xoxoxo

  2. I don't blame our infertility either, but it as well as the stresses of being a one income family while he was in school just exposed the issues that we had been just ignoring (unhealthily at that) for years. After over a year of working on it, I was just finished with it and knew that I deserved more than what I was dealing with. Now I look back 5 years later, it was the best but most difficult decision I made. I do not regret doing it because it brought me some of the most amazing people into my life through meeting my wonderful husband and I wouldn't give it up for anything.

    Never thought I would be a divorcee when I was 26, but without that I would be a happily remarried woman of 31. Strange plans of the world that keep you guessing!