Sunday, November 4, 2012

Wishing, Hoping, and Praying (Again)

Well the waiting game continues...unfortunately, this is all too familiar of territory for me. I have been down this road for 3 years now and it never gets any easier to manage.

After the early miscarriage in August, I promised Aaron when we did it all again, that I would not test at home. We watched our dream appear, then slowly disappear through the at home tests and it was impossible to deal with emotionally. Now this time, we are just going to wait for the official testing by the doctor's office for the final say-so on it.

That does not mean it's any easier to deal with this time just because we are waiting to find out the results. Nope, not one little bit.

The waiting is the hardest part.

So true.

We always say we will take some time to deal with the results before opening it up to the whole world. Reality is that we end up sharing it all right away because we have so many people pulling for us and know they want to be there to support us no matter what.

Will this time be any different?

Who knows?

We are wishing, hoping and praying to be off this part of the ride - it's a terrible journey that I wouldn't wish on anyone EVER.

I know that the next part is full of different kinds of stressing, but at least then it's working toward something. Right now, we are just working for the hope. At least once it's real, we can start to be happy for a few before the other emotions come flooding in. Right now, we are just sitting on the edge of a pin waiting to be knocked in a direction - will it be positive or negative? We don't know and just have to keep on the waiting train.

3 days to judgment day and counting.