Friday, July 30, 2010

Summer? There was a summer in there?? Where?

I go back to school in about 2 weeks and I am really uncertain where the summer went to so quickly.

I spent quite a bit of the summer working on our house during the day to help make it home. We have pictures hanging on the walls and things feel like home. Unfortunately, I have managed to hurt myself because I wanted it all done so quickly that I over did it by myself. I painted our 2nd bathroom in one day, climbed up on the bathtub to paint into the corners above the shower and by spending hours with my arm above my head, pulled a muscle on my side.

I have also spent lots of time with my friend Michelle and her new baby Mason. He is just the cutest little guy and I am so happy for them. They tried for a very long time to get him and I am so happy for them! He looks just like his daddy born with a full head of blond hair and the longest eyelashes! So cute.

We keep on going with TTC. The Clomid is rough some times. It causes me to be moody and have headaches, not to mention hot flashes all the time! Hot flashes when it's 100 degrees outside must be what it feels like on the inner circle of hell...I can't even imagine what this will be like when I am going through menopause! ICK. My body seems to be responding to it and I am actually ovulating and almost seem to be regular on it, I can count it like clockwork - 31 days from cycle to cycle. However, this means that we are not having success in getting pregnant. We are running out of time on Clomid - this is the 4th month on it and we can only do a maximum of 6...timeline is winding down and we are no closer than we were in April. It's hard to not get so frustrated. My blood work is coming back well, my body is responding to it, but even then we only have a 25% chance of getting pregnant in any given month.

I am seeing how it's affecting Aaron more and more, he has been trying to be my rock for me all this time but I wonder who is he venting to in order to let out the frustration? He doesn't want to do it to me because he doesn't want to add any pressure to what I am going through, but he needs to release it somewhere. I worry that it's just building up and building inside him.

The great thing for me is that I have people who I can vent to do about what I am going through and they will just listen to me. There is no judgment to what we are going through, just support and love. The excitement everyone is going to feel when we have a positive test is going to be amazing.

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