I feel so down right now - just negative and not feeling this month. I wish that I felt differently or knew what brought it on. Last night, I was lying on the bed watching TV and chilling out when I was just hit with a wall of sadness and down-feeling. Why? I have no idea. But, I have to say that I am not a fan of it at all and I want it to go away. I don't have anything to be sad about really aside from the general fear that this IUI won't work and we will have to move on to more intensive fertility treatments. That's all I have to be sad about and normally, I can just push that to the side since we are still 2 weeks from finding out if it worked and usually I don't hit this point until about 5 days beforehand. Why now??? I don't want to spend the next 2 weeks feeling like this - get out stupid thoughts!! I don't like you and you are not welcome!
Tonight, I am going out with some good friends to have some Mexican food (they will have margaritas, I will be drinking Sprite - darn people who get to drunk on Cinco de Mayo and I have to be the designated driver) and I hope it helps me shake this feeling today. I am going to see if I can cram some other fun stuff into this 2 week wait to help the time pass faster. I like to be busy sometimes because then I don't have too much extra time to think. I don't want to think too much...it's bad for the brain.