After a few days of dealing with the news and doing lots of thinking about what to do from here, we are feeling better (not great, that will come with time) about our decisions.
We are going to take our time with starting up anything again, we really need to heal and to allow us to heal at our pace. We don't want to put a time frame on it, we have said that we would re-evaluate the situation every few months to see where we stand on things. That's about our only idea at this point and I am very happy with the choice. We have spent nearly 2 years working toward this every month and with the IVF taking so much time/effort/energy, the idea of taking a step back for awhile although frustrating is the best thing to help with healing.
Our friends and family have been amazing the past few days and we would not have made it through without them. The support all along the journey to this point has been so helpful and I am not sure how we would have made it otherwise. I know that no matter what we decide to do, try IVF again, seriously look into additional adoption options, or whatever they will be there to support us 1000%.
Sometimes I wish we had an easier journey, sometimes I wish we would have gotten our dream sooner. But then I think about how much we have gone through and how much more we are going to value our child when they are here because of everything. It's not easy to be trying for so long, it's so draining on every level. But, at the same time, it has made us re-evaluate so many things in our lives as important to us and that changes as we go through month to month.
We are working on how we feel about it and going to spend some time doing soul searching for our dream. I hope we can eventually get what we want, it is just going to take longer than we had hoped.