Thursday, August 25, 2011

Really want to feel like myself again

I am struggling.

I am struggling with feeling disconnected from myself in all aspects of my life, I do not feel like I am doing a good job at any part of my life. I feel like I am struggling as a teacher, a wife, a friend, and everything else. I feel completely disconnected from it and I am struggling with what to do to get reconnected with things.

I have not had an easy time since the call last week about IVF, even after the call from the doctor last night that brought some comfort. I have been really upset every time I think about the situation and still feel like I am processing it all. However, the problem is that I cannot process with so much going on all at the same time. The start of school and getting things in order for that part, along with dealing with the emotions that go with the IVF ending, plus graduate school starting = overload on so many levels.

This week has been hard, I have broken down nearly everyday in tears to some degree even if it's only for a few minutes at a time. I am trying but man do I feel like I am doing a terrible job at all aspects of my life right now.

I am not looking for sympathy or thoughts of "it will get better," so please don't do that. I just needed to get it out.

1 comment:

  1. I always take an extra long shower when I feel like that. It gives me the "me time" I need each day to work through things without interruptions when I need to. Obviously it takes more than one shower, but it seems to help me get on with other things knowing that I will have time later in the shower for dealing with crap.