I spoke the RE today about the whole situation with the failure of the IVF. We talked for nearly a half hour, I have to say that I really like her and appreciate all her effort on our behalf through all of this. She has been an advocate from the very beginning and calls me at home on her own time to make sure we are doing all right. She answered our freaked out call at nearly midnight when we were concerned about a sharp pain I was having after the transfer without hesitation and explained everything quite well. I think that makes it easier to deal with in the long run.
First, she is frustrated that it didn't work for us because as they (they being all 6 REs in the practice, including 2 that were some of the first to do IVF in our area) could not find a specific reason for the failure aside from the fact that we just had the bad luck of falling into the nearly 1/2 who don't work. She said when they looked at the whole protocol and results of the egg quality, there are only small changes they would want to make for the future.
This is comforting and frustrating all at once. It is nice to know that there isn't anything else we could have done to have a serious change of events for us. But at the same time, to not have the medical explanation for the failure.
Secondly, she said they as a collective group definitely recommend us doing IVF again if that's what we decide to do because of all those things. She said that my egg quality was good and I responded very well to the medications and we have good information from the first one to help us make small suggestions for change for the future. But she wants us to be set and comfortable before we jump back into it all again and not to do it before we felt prepared on all levels.
Third, she was completely all right with us taking time before doing it again without stopping all together. She is going to have me take the medication that I was on with the inseminations to help keep me regular (which I am very much not on a normal basis) and that will allow us to "try" with simply doing it on our own with timed intercourse to positive ovulation tests for a few months until we are ready to talk about it again. This is great news because it allows my ovaries to heal up from the over-stimulation but doesn't stop us from trying while we are working up to IVF again. It's a great thing and she is very comfortable with this and wants to do anything she can to assist us with this time of healing.
Other benefits to this step are that since I can be regular on it, I can work on continuing to lose some weight as I have been since about April slowly but surely. I am down nearly 16 pounds since then and that is with gaining and losing weight with the stimulation medication for all that time. With my period being more regular, it helps the metabolism which for people with PCOS (like me) is a huge issue in losing weight. This will also help to make my egg quality become better which will then help with the potential retrievals down the road.
So we are going to start the medication this weekend to do the timed intercourse for the next month and see where we go from here.
At least the question of what could we have done to make it work has been answered and it's nothing. That does help some of the issues of healing for us. We are going to give ourselves time to heal completely before doing this and have to figure out many things logistically before doing it again. We have to figure out money, and how I am going to balance the back and forth to the hospital for the appointments and still be at work, as well as when we will be mentally ready to put ourselves out there again. It's such a huge commitment to the whole process from both me and Aaron and we need to make sure we are completely ready for it all again.