Mother's Day was an interesting holiday for me this year. It was conflicting emotionally and was kind of a tough day mixed with the anticipation of becoming a mother.
The tough part: missing my mom.
This was the first Mother's Day without my mom - we are quickly approaching the 1st anniversary of her passing and I dread the day whole-heartedly. Not having her around to talk to about my life in general, but especially on Mother's Day. It was tough not to talk to her on this day. I miss her constantly and have a million questions I wish I could ask her about being a mom. It's a confliction for me - I miss her and wish to talk to her again about everything. I did really well for most of the day, didn't cry or feel sad until the very end of the day. Then I was just sitting there crying without being able to stop for a good 20 minutes.
The celebration part: celebrating motherhood
I was fortunate enough to have a husband and mother-in-law who recognized the day for me as a mother-to-be. They both gave me a card with warm thoughts for becoming a mother. It was very sweet and unexpected. We took my mother-in-law out to lunch and spent the time with her. When we came home, I spent the evening sorting through baby clothes that were given to me. There were so many clothes, I am passing them out to 2 friends who are also having baby girls right around the same time as we are expecting.
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While I know my mom is always with me, I just wish I could see her and talk to her again. I know she would be going crazy with buying items for the baby and just being so wrapped up in the new addition to our family. I am fortunate enough to have a mother-in-law who recognizes this and does her very best to make sure she includes thoughts for my mom.
I know that it will be a tough part to the birth without her there waiting so impatiently for Genny's birth - she will be there in spirit but man, it will be a little sadness included with the happiness and joy of the day.
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