Wednesday, November 10, 2010

I am about to go completely POSTAL!

So I am pretty angry right now.

I talked to my doctor about the blood work results, everything is in the normal range - which is good and I am glad it is.


They also tested me for rubella to see if I still had the antibodies, apparently they can diminish over the course of your life after you have the MMR shot as a child. I have to get one - here's where I am pissed. When I get it, which my doctor wants me to have immediately....I have to avoid pregnancy or trying to get pregnant for 30 days!!!!!!!! Seriously????? Some kind of sick joke.

I know it's the for good of everyone, etc in the logical part of my brain. BUT the non-logical (and at the moment sincerely loud part of my brain) just wants to scream! That means if I get the shot in the next week (I will have to wait until we get back from Colorado since we leave first thing in the morning), that this cycle is out after the HSG, and so that put me to the end of December before we can even TRY!!!!

NOT FAIR!! Why does this stupid crap keep happening that sets us back further and further from our dream????

Then we have to deal with the change in insurance and I may have to get a new RE and start this freaking process all over again.

I am so angry.

I really truly want to throw myself on the floor and have a temper tantrum right now (again, I said the non-logical part of my brain is running the show at the moment).

I am going out to dinner with a friend tonight and I think it's going to be at least a 2 drink kind of dinner. I really just want to cry.

It really doesn't help that I found out that a former student (graduated 2 years ago) just had her second kid and they are living off the system. Another student just found out she is pregnant. It just makes me more sad.

I think the break of going to Colorado this weekend may help me some...I really hope so because I am  not feeling very great about much right now. At least I can get all fancy-dressed and pretty, see a beautiful wedding between people who love each other very much, and have some serious non-TTC sex with my husband after having too many drinks at the wedding. That sounds like the perfect recipe to help me right now.

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