Wednesday, February 15, 2012

30 Day Blogging Challenge - Day #17 "Highs and Lows of the last year"

Oh where to begin????

Highs -

1. My friends/family/co-workers who are my true strength - I am so grateful everyday for the people in my life, I can honestly say that without them, I would have been lost a long time ago. I do not take them for granted and appreciate them so much.

2. The relationship that has deepened between me and Aaron. Everyday we struggle so much sometimes, but instead of letting it get between us - we use it as fuel to make our relationship stronger. All of these things could have been the end of a relationship under the best of circumstances, any one of them let alone all of the things put together. He is the best person I know and I love him tremendously.

3. The closeness of my friends who have listened to everything we have gone through without getting frustrated at hearing the same issues time and time again. To my new friends that I am learning about, you are just as important to me as the people I have known for decades.

Lows -

Without question, the lowest points in the year were the failed inseminations and the failed IVF we went through in 2011. It was the most painful and personal thing I have ever been through and yet we are here now without the dream. It is a constant struggle for us to find a way to be positive as we move further and further into the journey to being parents. We are not closer than we were in November of 2009 when we started on our journey - yes that's a long time and we are acutely aware of it. I wouldn't wish this journey on my worst enemy (which apparently I have and that's been a whole separate low of the last year for me) because it tests every part of who you think you are and makes you change your perception of what you believe you can endure. I know I am strong, but I often wonder if I will hit a point where I simply cannot continue on any further. I am scared of that point and I have become completely and totally aware of where that point is in my life.

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