Friday, February 24, 2012

30 Day Blogging Challenge - Day #26: "The kind of person who attracts me"

This is very interesting because I was just having this conversation with my friend today.

I think there are different levels of attraction - there is of course the most obvious which is a sexual attraction, but there is also an attraction as a friendship. While I think these two things are separate there are some overlaps to appeal for me.

Romantic/sexual attraction for me is simple - I like dark hair (I have dated lighter hair, but most of my track record seems to lean the darker hair side), a good smile, smart eyes (color not so important), height is not so important (Aaron and I look eye-to-eye with each other but I have dated men as tall as 6-5), build not so important as long as there is some level of fitness involved so I know he is willing to take care of himself for the long haul. I love a guy who makes me laugh as well as think about things on a deeper level. I love a guy who challenges me when I need to be put in my place, but will still love me when I am at my most vulnerable. I love a guy who will tell me to shut up when I need to hear it but is quick to say I love you more than anything when I need to hear it as well. I love a guy who respects that I have LOTS of opinions and doesn't try to make me change mine to better suit his, he just accepts me as an opinionated person who is stubborn as hell and who is loyal often to a fault.

Friendship attraction for me is often the more complicated of the two. 

For me, I want friends of all shapes and colors. But their personality is what really attracts me to them. I want friends who want to laugh and joke, but know when to be serious. I want friends who tell the truth even if it hurts me to hear it because they know I value that over anything else. I want friends who are grown up enough to say that the childish crap that tends to happen is best left in middle school where it belongs. I am a friend who likes to cuddle with my friends (male and female) because I like to let them know they are important to me through physical contact. I like a friend who allows me to do things for them without expecting things in return just because I want them to know I am thinking of them. I want a friend who wants to be there for me when the shit gets hard, but is willing to do small things with me because they are just as important.

I do not let people into this inner place of my thoughts because I am scared of them seeing me that kind of vulnerable. I only have a small numbers of friends who are inside in this vulnerable place and the newcomers to this somehow managed to do it quicker than I could have ever predicted (you know who you are and you scare the hell out of me for reference). Most of my really good friends took years and much turmoil to become this close to me and I do not understand how they have managed to get there so quickly. It scares me - I have been told my whole life how closed off I am - but these 2 people I am referring to managed to do it quickly. Maybe it's a sign of growing up and maturing that I am being more open to more people at a faster rate, but it still scares the hell out of me on a constant basis.

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